Lesson learned

looking up from inside the Air Force Academy Chapel

Ever been too busy to mourn?  Apparently, I have.  But my subconscious would only let me get away with it for so long.

A friend died almost two weeks ago.  She had been fighting cancer for a while now, travelling out of the state for an experimental drug and trying out radiation.  She was young.  Only a couple of years older than me.  She was the most doting sister and aunt.  A wife still as madly in love with her husband as when she first fell for him.  

She had been doing well before the last hospitalization.  We were supposed to get together.  I didn't make it. 

I'm sorry, R.  I was weak.  I stayed away because I was uncomfortable.  Not with your illness.  That I could deal with.  My faith failed me.  Or more accurately, my lack of faith failed me.  Failed you.  Though talking about God and speaking in scriptures helped you deal with everything that was going on, I was uncomfortable with it.  But I should never have let that get in my way.  I was weak.  And I'm sorry.  I know in my heart that you have already forgiven me this.  It's just the kind of thing you would do.  Now I know.  I'll never let something like fear and discomfort get in my way again.  Life is short.  I only wish I hadn't learned the lesson this way. 

Are you fonder yet?

I'm back!  Actually, I've been back from Maui since late Monday afternoon.  Unfortunately, I had to spend the rest of the week at work to make up the hours I wasn't there.  It must be the full moon because we were popping out babies like no one's business =)  Now I just have to catch up on all the blogs I've been missing, upload the photos I took on our trip and actually get back into Finding Water  and the True Stories prompts.  The trip kind of derailed some of the projects.  Yet despite all the incomplete projects, I am absolutely itching to take up Shimelle's discount offer for another class.  Am I nuts?  I don't even scrapbook!  Yet.  =)  Help!  I think I may need an intervention.  As for NaBloPoMo, I think it's safe to say that this year is a FAIL.  *shrug*  It was well worth it.  I'll just try it another time.  

Now for an explanation for the picture above.  I thought it fit because my job's kept me busy since my trip.  It's a photo of a carrot cake with cream cheese filling that my sister created for me and my co-workers.  Can you believe she just started playing with fondant two months ago?  Yep, the kid's got talent.  It makes me want to play around with the darn thing.  Another project to try?  Ack!  I swear I have ADD sometimes.  Oooh!  Shiny!    

Just in case you were wondering why I haven't been around...

I'm on Maui with my sister and Mom =)  I've missed NaBloPoMo and True Stories, but I'm enjoying it out here.  I'll update when I get back. 

Just look and see

It's not what you look at that matters.  It's what you see.

--Henry David Thoreau

Yep, that's me!

the closest I'll get to posting a photo of myself

Feeling rather fuzzy at the moment.  Much like me in the photo above.  Spent a long time on my feet and bent over patients.  At least I got off work knowing I left two more brand new moms feeling more comfortable breastfeeding their babies.  All I want to do for now is just get my own daughter in bed and probably my own head on the pillow.  

I'm starting to think the only way I'll make it through NaBloPoMo is to post photos on the days I work.  We'll see.  Tomorrow's post should be a bit more substantial and hopefully more interesting. 

 Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations.  I may not reach them but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them and try to follow them. 

- Louisa May Alcott

An open letter

Dear Mom,

I've been a good boy, haven't I?  For the last 8 1/2 years I've given you unconditional love.  When you go out or go to work, all I can think of is that I can't wait until you get home.  

I let you pet my head and rub my belly when you're feeling down.  I let you scratch my butt when your hands need a break from the keyboard or pen.  I've even let you sleep in my bed at night.  You never heard me complain when you decided to bring home the hairless pet, even though her screaming and hogging of the stuffed animals was upsetting.  I even went as far as sharing Grandma's lap with her 

 

sharing my snacks with her,

and finding ways to entertain her.

So why do you insist on humiliating me?
 

I was tired and had no energy to fight.  A tutu?  Really?  And the reindeer antlers last Christmas...

You know I like the jingle bells better.  

So why do you do it?  Is it the gas?  Because I really can't control that.  You give me the food, after all.  Is it the throw pillows?  You have so many of them.  Surely you could spare a few for me to suck on. 

 

If I promise not to hog all the covers at night, not to take over any (additional) pillows, and tell the neighbor's dog to use the gate to visit me next time, 

 

 

do you think you could at least consult with me before putting me into the next silly get-up?  I mean, could you at least make sure I'm not gonna be too tired to resist?  At the very least, do you think you could not take so many pictures and post them online?  It's really hurting my reputation.  How am I ever gonna be the stud you want when all the ladies see me in these dresses?  Just think about it, alright?  

Pretty please?

 

 

Your furry baby, 

Winston 

 

People from a planet without flowers would think we must be mad with joy the whole time to have such things about us.

                     -- Iris Murdoch

A Trip Down Memory Lane

a photo I took earlier this year of the top of a lauhala box (the wooden piece in the foreground is a turtle, btw)

As my response to the True Stories prompt #3 and also as a way to let my new readers learn a little about me, here's a few of my memories... 


I remember a time when I would wear multiple pairs of socks to match every color of my outfit. 
I remember sitting on top of the dog house at night singing Frank Sinatra songs with my cousin at the ripe old age of 10.
I remember the sweatshirt I was wearing when I had my first kiss.  It had Garfield jumping onto an ice cream sundae with the words "Go for it!" across the top. (subliminal message? hmmm....)
I remember daydreaming that my family members and I were the real heroes of Voltes V.
I remember getting whiplash after headbanging to Skid Row's Piece of Me.
I remember the good old days when I could sit and finish a novel in a day. 
I remember the a-ha! moment when I finally realized how the sperm got to the egg, thanks to accidentally seeing a scene from The Howling IV.  
I remember teaching my husband (then boyfriend) how to use MS-DOS.  (Did I mention he now works with computers?)
I remember when I couldn't leave the house without my can of Aqua Net.
I remember the surprise/amusement in Chris's voice when I was able to sing along with the Cure, then the Eagles, then Shai all in one sitting.  
I remember spending my days just walking through art museums in Chicago.
I remember the longest trip of my life -- drive from Baguio City to Manila, flight from Manila to Japan, transfer to L.A., then to Chicago, then to Charlotte, NC, to finally end in Charleston SC.  
I remember thinking I should never have kids.
I remember giggling all the way to the hospital when my water broke. (Those doggie training pads were handy!)
I remember the white knuckles of the man running my driving test as I parked the car at the DMV.  (I didn't get the nickname Mario for nothing! -- as in Andretti) 
I remember smiling like a fool and waving at customers while wearing The Hamburgler costume, forgetting that people couldn't actually see my face. 
I remember when I didn't know what a blog was.  


If only this extra post could count for another day in NaBloPoMo.

I can't believe I forgot to take a picture

I fell asleep.  I was going to stay up and finish the banner, but instead I fell asleep.  So much for the extra time to work on the project.  I just spent the morning gluing things on the burlap so that I could turn it in this morning.  I got so tied up with it, I forgot to take a picture!

The theme: "Scenes of Autumn"
The challenge: make a banner using the items provided and only the items provided.  We can use as much of the items or as few. 
Categories: Best Overall, Most Creative Use of Materials, Funniest, Best Representation of Autumn.

The items:
Autumn leaves  (plastic)                                                     
Yarn (red orange)
Straws  (yellow, green, orange)                                        
Tacky glue
Pipe Cleaners  (green, yellow)                                          
Paper Cups (aquarium design)
Colored Papers  (brown, orange, yellow, green)
Fabric (in photo above)             
Toilet Paper                                                                         
Foam Peanuts
Paper Plates (green, yellow, orange)                              
Plastic Forks (black, orange)                                            
Plastic Kinves (black, orange)
Burlap Banner Base
Strands of Beads (black, orange)                                    
Coffee Filter 
Dowel and jute for hanging

There were two of us in what should have been a team of four.  We knew most of the teams were going for actual autumn scenes-- pretty fall colors of leaves on trees, Thanksgiving related things like cornucopias.  We took a look at our bag and thought, WTF?  Pretty wasn't going to happen.  So...

Large paper plate + drinking straws+ pipe cleaners= scarecrow head
Paper plate + fabric = scarecrow hat
Fabric stuffed with toilet paper + straws sticking out= scarecrow body 
     (because scarecrows are made of straw, right?)
Paper cups + brown colored paper + plastic leaves on plastic stems= tree
Toilet paper= used to "T.P" the tree
Toilet paper + cups + black beads = mummy half unraveled
Foam peanuts= thought bubble around the tree tp'd with the mummy
Colored paper= lettering "Why Scarecrow had to trick-or-treat with 'Duddy' this year."

Get it?  "It's a joke, Son!" 

Until I get back to take a picture of it, I'll let your imagination run wild.  

The good news is...

one of the more creative pumpkins we saw while trick or treating

Despite a crazy day at work, I don't quite feel like the pic above. =)  Still, it's been exhausting and I wish I could just go straight to bed.  However, there's still a little work project to complete.  Luckily, it's supposed to be for fun and it has been a source of entertainment for the two of us who are working on it.  I only wish we had a little more time to flesh it out.  

my True Stories notebook

I typically don't like to scratch anything out when I'm writing in notebooks.  But since Shimelle's class has given me "permission" to do so, I've found it quite liberating.  I can't do anything with the cover though.  I love it just the way it is.  And since I'm too tired from work today and didn't want to fail NaBloPoMo on the first day, I thought I'd share a photo of my notebook.