|looking up from inside the Air Force Academy Chapel|
Ever been too busy to mourn? Apparently, I have. But my subconscious would only let me get away with it for so long.
A friend died almost two weeks ago. She had been fighting cancer for a while now, travelling out of the state for an experimental drug and trying out radiation. She was young. Only a couple of years older than me. She was the most doting sister and aunt. A wife still as madly in love with her husband as when she first fell for him.
She had been doing well before the last hospitalization. We were supposed to get together. I didn't make it.
I'm sorry, R. I was weak. I stayed away because I was uncomfortable. Not with your illness. That I could deal with. My faith failed me. Or more accurately, my lack of faith failed me. Failed you. Though talking about God and speaking in scriptures helped you deal with everything that was going on, I was uncomfortable with it. But I should never have let that get in my way. I was weak. And I'm sorry. I know in my heart that you have already forgiven me this. It's just the kind of thing you would do. Now I know. I'll never let something like fear and discomfort get in my way again. Life is short. I only wish I hadn't learned the lesson this way.